If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.
Join Team I’m just sayin… in our Walk to End Alzheimer’s! If you would like to join or donate, just click on the Walk to End Alzheimer’s button above this post (if you are on your computer). Or, if you’re on your phone click here.
I would like to take a minute today to wish my Labor Day Aunt Janie a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has been a GREAT friend to Mom and our family for many years. I hope she has a wonderful birthday. I wish I had time to say more about her, but I am busy packing up the I'm just sayin... offices to prepare for our move. Hopefully I'll have pictures to share soon...
I'd like to wish my good friend Ross a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! I hope he has a GREAT Day!!!!
So, I've got more I would like to type... but things are pretty crazy busy right now at work & home. So... until I get a chance to post more, go join Team I'm just sayin... & help us end Alzheimer's at act.alz.org/goto/imjustsayin
I’d like to take a minute today to wish The Wife a HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!!! I’m very happy to have her in my life. She makes me a better man and makes me want to be an even better man (if that’s possible). I won’t go on and on, because she probably won’t read this… but I did want it entered into the official I’m just sayin… record.
I just got done reading The Cubs Way, by Tom Verducci. I highly recommend it. Very good book about the build-up that took place to help the Cubs win the 2016 World Series.
If you haven’t seen the movie Hidden Figures yet, you’re missing out. Go rent it today.
Other movies I’ve seen (either in the theater or via Redbox) recently that I liked…
All Eyez on Me
We haven’t moved into our new offices yet, but we are hopeful that the move will happen soon. When it does, I will be sure to post a lot of pictures.
I would like to wish my nephew Austin a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I hope Cougar & Allison help him have a GREAT day!!!! I doubt Mr. "It's Just Another Day" Sonny will do much. I'm not real sure where my dear sweet parents went wrong with that one... I mean, Teresa Lynn turned out ok & I, obviously, am... well... I mean... come on. I think we can all agree they couldn't have done any better with me. But that Sonny, something just ain't right with him. So... pray that Austin has a VERY HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY!
I would like to wish my good friend Danny L. Wright, Vol 2 a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! Hopefully now that our favorite Nurse Jen is done with her Masters, she will be able to give this great day the attention it deserves. In any case, I'm sure his sweet girls will make this a great day.
The swim season has started for Mary Ruth. Her first meet was last Thursday night. I've never been a fan of "participation" trophies (or ribbons), but I might make an exception for swim meets. I don't know how these kids do it. I found myself more impressed with the kids who came in last than with the kids who won. For one race, Mary Ruth was one of these kids. It was the butterfly (which she hates... and I can't say I blame her) and it was the second time that night she'd had to swim it (the first was in a mixed medley). She made it to one end of the pool and was about halfway back when it looked like she was out of energy (just watching it, I was out of energy... and my shoulders were killing me). Most of the swimmers were done (I think there was one girl kind of close, but not close enough to catch) and the easy thing would have been to just climb out of the pool and walk the rest of the way. I'm not big on quitting, but I honestly don't think I would have blamed her. Know what's worse than having to swim the butterfly? Having to swim it and coming in last. But she didn't quit. She kept going and all I could do when she got to the end and got out of the pool was give her a big hug and tell her how proud I was of her. She could win a race later this season and I'm not sure I will be as proud as I was at that moment. Later on in the meet she came in 3rd in the breaststroke, but was DQ'd because of politics... haha, just kidding... I don't remember the reason she was DQ'd but I do know her coach didn't agree with it. I don't know enough about the sport to have an opinion (though that usually doesn't stop me). Either way, at the end of the night when we were home I asked her if she had fun. She told me she loved it (and that made me happy).
The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown
10 Field of Dreams
Phil Alden Robinson
Kevin Costner, Amy Madigan, James Earl Jones, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster, Timothy Busfield, Gaby Hoffmann 1989
The Voice: "If you build it, he will come".
Terence Mann: "Ray, people will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come".
[Archie's at bat and is almost hit by the pitcher's throws, twice]
Archie Graham: "Hey ump, how 'bout a warning?"
Clean-shaven Umpire: "Sure, kid. Watch out you don't get killed".
Shoeless Joe Jackson: "Ty Cobb wanted to play, but none of us could stand the son-of-a-bitch when we were alive, so we told him to stick it!"
Shoeless Joe Jackson: "The first two were high and tight, so where do you think the next one's gonna be?"
Archie Graham: "Well, either low and away, or in my ear".
Shoeless Joe Jackson: "He's not gonna wanna load the bases, so look low and away".
Archie Graham: "Right".
Shoeless Joe Jackson: "But watch out for in your ear".
9 National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Jeremiah S. Chechik
Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Juliette Lewis, Randy Quaid, Johnny Galecki, E.G. Marshall, Doris Roberts, Diane Ladd 1989
Clark: "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f--king Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse".
Clark: "Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"
[as an entourage of suits - lead by Clark's boss - passes by single file]
Clark: "Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah".
Clark: "Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now".
8 Die Hard
Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Bedelia, Paul Gleason, Reginald VelJohnson, Alexander Godunov 1988
John McClane: "Yippee-ki-yay, motherf--ker".
Supervisor: [as McClane tries to call up police] "Attention, whoever you are, this channel is reserved for emergency calls only".
John McClane: "No f--king shit, lady. Does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza?"
Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss 1975
Brody: "You're gonna need a bigger boat".
Hooper: "You were on the Indianapolis?"
Brody: "What happened?"
Quint: "Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte... just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail fin. What we didn't know, was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar named "The Battle of Waterloo" and the idea was: shark comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark will go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us... he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb".
John G. Avildsen
Sylvester Stallone, Carl Weathers, Talia Shire, Burgess Meredith 1976
Mickey: "Women weaken legs!"
Mickey: "You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!"
Mickey: "Your nose is broken".
Rocky: "How does it look?"
Mickey: "Ah, it's an improvement".
Rocky: "Ah come on, Adrian, it's true. I was nobody. But that don't matter either, you know? 'Cause I was thinkin', it really don't matter if I lose this fight. It really don't matter if this guy opens my head, either. 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood".
Apollo's Trainer: "He doesn't know it's a damn show! He thinks it's a damn fight!"
[after the fight]
Apollo Creed: "Ain't gonna be no rematch".
Rocky: "Don't want one".
Rocky: "Cut me, Mick".
5 Steel Magnolias
Sally Field, Dolly Parton, Shirley MacLaine, Daryl Hannah, Olympia Dukakis, Julia Roberts, Tom Skerritt, Dylan McDermott, Kevin J. O'Connor, Sam Shepard 1989
Ouiser Boudreaux: "A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste".
Clairee Belcher: "Ousier's never done a religious thing in her life".
Ouiser Boudreaux: "Now that is not true. When I was in school, a bunch of my friends and I would dress up as nuns and go bar-hoppin'".
Clairee: "Ouiser, you sound almost chipper. What happened today - you run over a small child or something?"
M'Lynn: [crying] "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine". [screaming] "I'm fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't! She never could! Oh God! I am so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know *why* Shelby's life is over! I wanna know how that baby will *ever* know how wonderful his mother was! Will he *ever* know what she went through for him! Oh *God* I wanna know *why*? *Why*? Lord, I wish I could understand!" [in a firm tone] "No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I just wanna *hit* somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it hard!" [continues sobbing]
Clairee: "Here!" [grabs Ouiser by the shoulder and positions her in front of M'Lynn]
Clairee: "Hit this! Go ahead M'Lynn, slap her!"
Ouiser Boudreaux: [taken aback and confused] "Are you crazy?"
Clairee: "Hit her!"
Ouiser Boudreaux: "Are you *high*, Clairee?"
Truvy: [in a frightened tone] "Clairee, have you lost your mind?"
Clairee: "We'll sell t-shirts sayin' 'I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX!' Hit her!"
Annelle: [in a scared tone] "Ms. Clairee, enough!"
Clairee: "Ouiser, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man! Knock her lights out, M'Lynn!"
Ouiser Boudreaux: [snatches away] "Let go o' me!"
Clairee: "M'Lynn, you just missed the chance of a lifetime! Half o' Chiquapin Parish'd give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser!"
Ouiser Boudreaux: "He is a boil on the butt of humanity!"
4 Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope aka Star Wars
Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Alec Guinness 1977
Obi-Wan: "Use the Force, Luke".
Luke: "I have a very bad feeling about this".
Luke: "How did my father die?"
Obi-Wan: "A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the Jedi are all but extinct. Vader was seduced by the dark side of the Force".
Princess Leia: "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope".
Han Solo: "Well, you can forget your troubles with those Imperial slugs. I told you I'd outrun 'em".
[nobody is listening]
Han Solo: "Don't everyone thank me at once".
Obi-Wan: [after hiding from the Storm Troopers on the Millennium Falcom] "Who is more foolish? The fool? Or the fool following the fool?"
3 Gone with the Wind
Clark Gable, Vivien Leigh, Leslie Howard, Olivia de Havilland, Hattie McDaniel, Butterfly McQueen 1939
Rhett Butler: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn".
Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman 1942
Captain Renault: "Carl, see that Major Strasser gets a good table, one close to the ladies".
Carl: "I have already given him the best, knowing he is German and would take it anyway".
Rick: "I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue".
Senor Ferrari: "As the leader of all illegal activities in Casablanca, I am an influential and respected man".
Yvonne: "Where were you last night?"
Rick: "That's so long ago, I don't remember".
Yvonne: "Will I see you tonight?"
Rick: "I never make plans that far ahead".
Rick: "*I'm* the only "cause" I'm interested in".
Captain Renault: [after Rick pulls a gun on him] "Have you lost your mind?"
Rick: "I have. Sit down!"
Captain Renault: "Put that gun down!"
Rick: "I don't want to shoot you, but I will if you take one more step!"
Captain Renault: [With amusement] "Under the circumstances I will sit down".
Rick: "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine".
Captain Renault: "I've often speculated why you don't return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Run off with a senator's wife? I like to think you killed a man. It's the Romantic in me".
Captain Renault: "Oh, please, monsieur. It is a little game we play. They put it on the bill, I tear up the bill. It is very convenient".
Rick: "How can you close me up? On what grounds?"
Captain Renault: "I'm shocked, *shocked* to find that gambling is going on in here!"
[a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]
Croupier: "Your winnings, sir".
Captain Renault: [sotto voce] "Oh, thank you very much".
Captain Renault: "Everybody out at once!"
Rick: "And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart".
Captain Renault: "That is my *least* vulnerable spot".
Rick: "I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life".
Ilsa: "But what about us?"
Rick: "We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night".
Ilsa: "When I said I would never leave you".
Rick: "And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that".
[Ilsa lowers her head and begins to cry]
Rick: "Now, now..."
[Rick gently places his hand under her chin and raises it so their eyes meet]
Rick: "Here's looking at you kid".
Captain Renault: "Realizing the importance of the case, my men are rounding up twice the usual number of suspects".
Rick: "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship".
1 The Godfather
Francis Ford Coppola
Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Robert Duvall, John Cazale, Diane Keaton, Talia Shire, Richard Castellano, Richard Conte, Sterling Hayden, Al Lettieri, Gianni Russo 1972
Don Corleone: "You talk about vengance. Is vengance going to bring your son back to you or my boy to me? I forgo the vengance of my son. But my youngest son had to leave this country because of this Sollozzo business. So now I have to make arraingments to bring him back safely cleared of all these false charges. But I'm a supersticious man. And if some unluck accident should befall him, if he should be shot in the head by a police officer, or if should hang himself in his jail cell, or if he's struck by a bolt of lightning... *then I'm going to blame some of the people in this room*... and that, I do not forgive. But, that aside, let say that I swear, on the souls of my grandchildren, that I will not be the one to break the peace we have made here today".
Luca Brasi: "Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your daughter... 's wedding... on the day of your daughter's wedding. And I hope their first child be a masculine child. I pledge my ever-ending loyalty".
Michael: "Well, when Johnny was first starting out, he was signed to a personal services contract with this big-band leader. And as his career got better and better, he wanted to get out of it. But the band leader wouldn't let him. Now, Johnny is my father's godson. So my father went to see this bandleader and offered him $10,000 to let Johnny go, but the bandleader said no. So the next day, my father went back, only this time with Luca Brasi. Within an hour, he had a signed release for a certified check of $1000".
Kay Adams: "How did he do that?"
Michael: "My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse".
Kay Adams: "What was that?"
Michael: "Luca Brasi held a gun to his head, and my father assured him that either his brains or his signature would be on the contract".
Peter Clemenza: "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli".
Don Corleone: "Bonasera, Bonasera, what have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, this scum who ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by some chance an honest man like yourself made enemies they would become my enemies. And then, they would fear you".
Don Corleone: "Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, consider this justice a gift on my daughter's wedding day".
Don Corleone: "I knew Santino was going to have to go through all this and Fredo... well, Fredo was... But I, I never wanted this for you. I work my whole life, I don't apologize, to take care of my family. And I refused to be a fool dancing on the strings held by all of those big shots. That's my life, I don't apologize for that. But I always thought that when it was your time, that you would be the one to hold the strings. Senator Corleone, Governor Corleone, something".
Don Corleone: "It's an old habit. I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men".
Carlo Rizzi: "Sonny, Tom, I'd like to talk to you after dinner. I think I can do a lot more for this family..."
Sonny: "We don't discuss business at the table".
Tessio: [to Hagen] "Tell Mike it was only business, I always liked him".
Tom Hagen: "He understands that".
Tessio: "Can you get me off the hook, Tom? For old times' sake?"
Tom Hagen: [shakes his head] "Can't do it, Sally".
Sonny: "You touch my sister again, I'll kill you".
Tom Hagen: "You know how they're going to come at you?"
Michael: "They want to arrange a meeting between me and Barzini. On Tessio's ground. Where I'll be safe".
[Hagen is silent for a long moment]
Tom Hagen: "Tessio. I always thought it would be Clemenza".
Michael: "It's the smart move. Tessio was always smarter".
[Tessio brings in Luca Brasi's bulletproof vest, delivered with a fish inside]
Sonny: "What the hell is this?"
Clemenza: "It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes".
Sonny: [laughing] "What are you gonna do? Nice college boy, didn't want to get mixed up in the family business. Now you want to gun down a police captain. Why? Because he slapped you in the face a little? What do you think this like the Army where you can shoot 'em from a mile away? No you gotta get up like this and, badda-bing, you blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit. C'mere".
[Kisses Michael on the head]
Sonny: "You're taking this very personal. Tom, this is business and this man is taking it very, very personal".
Moe Greene: "Sonofabitch! Do you know who I am? I'm Moe Greene! I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders!"
Michael: "Fredo, you're my older brother, and I love you. But don't ever take sides with anyone against the Family again. Ever".
Carlo Rizzi: "Please don't do this to me, Mike. Please don't".
Michael: "Barzini is dead. So is Phillip Tattaglia. Moe Greene. Stracci. Cuneo. Today I settled all family business so don't tell me that you're innocent. Admit what you did".
Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Josh Gad, Jonathan Groff, Alan Tudyk, Santino Fontana, Chris Williams 2013
Ryan Reynolds, Gina Carano, T. J. Miller, Ed Skrein, Morena Baccarin, Stefan Kapicic, Leslie Uggams, Brianna Hildebrand, Jed Rees 2016
22 Star Wars: The Force Awakens
J. J. Abrams
Harrison Ford, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Carrie Fisher, Lupita Nyong'o, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, Anthony Daniels, Max von Sydow, Peter Mayhew, Mark Hamill 2015
21 Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Ricardo Montalban 1982
McCoy: [to Spock] "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?"
Spock: "The ship... out of danger?"
Spock: "Don't grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh…"
Kirk: "...the needs of the few..."
Spock: "...Or the one. I never took the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?"
Spock: "I have been and always shall be your friend".
[Holds up his hand in the Vulcan salute]
Spock: "Live long and prosper".
20 Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Billy Dee Williams 1980
Princess Leia: "Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder".
Han Solo: "Who's scruffy-looking?"
C-3PO: "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1".
Han Solo: "Never tell me the odds".
Han Solo: "Laugh it up, fuzzball".
Yoda: "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try".
Darth Vader: "If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father".
Luke: "He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him!"
Darth Vader: "No. *I* am your father".
Princess Leia: "I have a bad feeling about this..."
19 The Hangover
Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Heather Graham, Justin Bartha 2009
Stu Price: [playing piano and singing passionately] "What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers," [stops suddenly] "well then we're shit out of luck".
18 Old School
Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn 2003
Frank: [out of breath] "We're... We're going streaking! We're going up the quad and to the gymnasium".
Frank: "I'll be in the neighborhood later on, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some frozen yogurt, or perhaps a whole meal of food, if that would be agreeable. Damnit".
Frank: "Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And, uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think, well, maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? What, I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?"
Frank: "Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time".
Frank: [Crying] "You're my boy, Blue!"
Beanie: "You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hangout with nineteen-year-old girls everyday?"
Frank: "SNOOP! SNOOP-A-LOOP!"
[During Frank's wedding]
Frank: "Hey, I just want to thank you one last time for being here. It's the best day ever".
Beanie: "Don't even start with me, Franklin, okay? You need to walk away from this ASAP".
Beanie: "You need to get out, Frankie. This is it. It's now or never. You need to get out of here while you're still single".
Frank: "I'm not single".
Beanie: "She's 30 yards away, you're single now".
Frank: "Come on, Marissa's the best thing that's ever happened to me".
Beanie: "Why don't you give that six months. You don't think that'll change? I got a wife, kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie?"
Beanie: "There's my wife. See that? Always smiling? Hi, honey. Judging, watching, 'Look at the baby'".
Mitch Martin: "She's coming down the aisle, Beanie. Let it go".
17 National Lampoon's Animal House
Tim Matheson, Tom Hulce, John Belushi, John Vernon, Peter Riegert, Karen Allen, Verna Bloom, Kevin Bacon, Donald Sutherland 1978
Bluto: "They took the bar! The whole f--king bar!"
Bluto: "What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
Otter: [to Boon] "Germans?"
Boon: "Forget it, he's rolling".
Bluto: "And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough..." [thinks hard of something to say] "The tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go!"
Bluto: "Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the f--king Peace Corps".
Hoover: "They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!"
Bluto: "TOGA! TOGA!"
[Dean Wormer's plotting to get rid of Delta House]
Greg Marmalard: "But Delta's already on probation".
Dean Vernon Wormer: "They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!"
Otter: "Point of parliamentary procedure!"
Hoover: "Don't screw around, they're serious this time!"
Otter: "Take it easy, I'm pre-law".
Boon: "I thought you were pre-med".
Otter: "What's the difference?"
[Addressing the room]
Otter: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did". [winks at Dean Wormer] "But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!"
[Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner]
16 Smokey and the Bandit
Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field, Jerry Reed 1977
Buford T. Justice: [to his son] "There's no way, *no* way that you came from *my* loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!"
Buford T. Justice: "What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law".
Sheriff Branford: "The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation".
Buford T. Justice: "The g-d damn Germans got nothin' to do with it".
15 Die Hard 2
Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Atherton, Dennis Franz, Fred Thompson, Franco Nero 1990
Grant: "You're the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time".
John McClane: "Story of my life".
Grant: "Too bad, McClane. I kind of liked you".
John McClane: "I got enough friends".
John McClane: "Yippie-kai-yay, motherf--ker".
14 Straight Outta Compton
F. Gary Gray
O'Shea Jackson Jr., Corey Hawkins, Jason Mitchell, Aldis Hodge, Neil Brown Jr. 2015
13 The Sound of Music
Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, Peggy Wood, Eleanor Parker, Charmian Carr, Angela Cartwright, Richard Haydn 1965
12 Brian's Song
James Caan, Billy Dee Williams, Shelley Fabares 1971
11 The Godfather Part II
Francis Ford Coppola
Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Lee Strasberg, Diane Keaton, Robert Duvall, John Cazale, Talia Shire, Bruno Kirby, Michael V. Gazzo 1974
Michael Corleone: "I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!"
Michael Corleone: "There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me: keep your friends close, but your enemies closer".
Michael Corleone: "I don't feel I have to wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies".
Michael Corleone: "If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone".
Senator Pat Geary: "I want your answer and the money by noon tomorrow. And one more thing. Don't you contact me again, ever. From now on, you deal with Turnbull".
Michael Corleone: "Senator? You can have my answer now, if you like. My final offer is this: nothing. Not even the fee for the gaming license, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally".
Hyman Roth: "There was this kid I grew up with; he was younger than me. Sorta looked up to me, you know. We did our first work together, worked our way out of the street. Things were good, we made the most of it. During Prohibition, we ran molasses into Canada... made a fortune, your father, too. As much as anyone, I loved him and trusted him. Later on he had an idea to build a city out of a desert stop-over for GI's on the way to the West Coast. That kid's name was Moe Greene, and the city he invented was Las Vegas. This was a great man, a man of vision and guts. And there isn't even a plaque, or a signpost or a statue of him in that town! Someone put a bullet through his eye. No one knows who gave the order. When I heard it, I wasn't angry; I knew Moe, I knew he was head-strong, talking loud, saying stupid things. So when he turned up dead, I let it go. And I said to myself, this is the business we've chosen; I didn't ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with business!"
Tom Hagen: "Why do you hurt me, Michael? I've always been loyal to you".
Hyman Roth: "I'm going in to take a nap. When I wake, if the money's on the table, I'll know I have a partner. If it isn't, I'll know I don't".
Tom Hagen: "Mikey, you all right?"
Michael Corleone: "Yeah -- there's a lot I can't tell you -- and I now that's upset you in the past".
Tom Hagen: "A little".
Michael Corleone: "Yeah -- you felt it was because of some lack of trust of confidence -- but it's -- it's, because I admire you and I love you that I kept things secret from you. That's why at his moment you're the only one I completely trust. Fredo -- ah, he's got a good heart -- but he's week, and he's stupid, and this is life and death. TOM, you're my brother".
Tom Hagen: "I always wanted to thought of as a brother by you, Mikey -- a real brother".
Michael Corleone: "I know. You're gonna take over -- you're gonna be the Don. If what I think has happened has happened, I'm gonna leave here tonight. I give you complete power, Tom -- over Fredo and his men, Rocco, Neri, everyone. I am trusting you with the lives of my wife and my children -- the future of this family".
I'd like to take a minute today to remember all of those who have died for our country. And to say thank you to all who have lost a loved one fighting for our country. Perhaps one day there will be no need for fighting... until then, though, I'm glad we have men and women willing to fight for us.
The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown
Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis, Ernie Hudson, Annie Potts 1984
Winston Zeddemore: "Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'YES'!"
Dr. Peter Venkman: "We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!"
Dr Ray Stantz: "Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here".
Walter Peck: "They caused an explosion!"
Mayor: "Is this true?"
Dr. Peter Venkman: "Yes it's true".
Dr. Peter Venkman: "This man has no dick".
Dr Ray Stantz: "Gozer the Gozerian... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension".
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Sarcastically] "That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Ray".
Dr Ray Stantz: "Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college! You don't know what it's like out there! I've *worked* in the private sector. They expect *results*".
44 Blazing Saddles
Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder, Mel Brooks, Madeline Kahn, Harvey Korman, Slim Pickens, Alex Karras 1974
Lyle: "Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree. Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen".
43 12 Angry Men
Lee J. Cobb, Henry Fonda, E.G. Marshall, Jack Warden, Jack Klugman, Ed Begley, Martin Balsam, Robert Webber, Joseph Sweeney, John Fiedler, Edward Binns 1957
Bette Midler, Barbara Hershey, John Heard, James Read, Lainie Kazan, Spalding Gray 1988
CC Bloom: "But enough about me, let's talk about you... what do YOU think of me?"
41 American Graffiti
Richard Dreyfuss, Ron Howard, Candy Clark, Harrison Ford, Cindy Williams, Paul LeMat 1973
40 Beverly Hills Cop
Eddie Murphy, John Ashton, Judge Reinhold 1984
Axel Foley: "Don't you think I realize what's going on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don't you think I know that if I was some hotshot from out of town that pulled inside here and you guys made a reservation mistake, I'd be the first one to get a room and I'd be upstairs relaxing right now. But I'm not some hotshot from out of town, I'm a small reporter from 'Rolling Stone' magazine that's in town to do an exclusive interview with Michael Jackson that's gonna be picked up by every major magazine in the country. I was gonna call the article 'Michael Jackson Is Sitting On Top of the World,' but now I think I might as well just call it 'Michael Jackson Can Sit On Top of the World Just As Long As He Doesn't Sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel 'Cause There's No N*ggers Allowed in There!'"
Detective Foster: "Yeah, and we're not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe".
Axel Foley: [mocking him] "You're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe? It should be more natural, brother. It should flow out, like this - 'Look, man, I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!' See, that's more natural for us. You been hanging out with this dude too long".
39 Breakfast at Tiffany's
Audrey Hepburn, George Peppard, Buddy Ebsen, Mickey Rooney 1961
Chevy Chase, Joe Don Baker, Geena Davis 1985
[driving away from police in car with startled teenager]
Teenager: "Are you a cop?"
Fletch: "As far as you know".
Teenager: "Are you gonna take me to jail for car theft?"
Fletch: "Why? Did you steal the car?"
Teenager: "I sure did".
Fletch: "Well, I'm not even sure that's a crime anymore. There've been a lot of changes in the law".
Fletch: "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I didn't want to have to do this. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses".
[During a proctological exam]
Fletch: "You using the whole fist, Doc?"
Madeline: "I'm sorry, who are you again?"
Fletch: "I'm Frieda's boss".
Madeline: "Who's Frieda?"
Fletch: "My secretary".
Fletch: "You know, what tipped it for me was something your wife said while we were in bed together".
Alan Stanwyck: "Oh? And what was that?"
Fletch: "Curiously, she said we had roughly the same build. From the waist up, I imagine".
Fletch: "If you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards".
[Fletch is being interrogated by Chief Karlin and is giving him attitude]
Chief Karlin: "So, what's your name?"
Chief Karlin: "Full name?"
Fletch: "Fletch F. Fletch".
Chief Karlin: "I see, And what do you do for a living, Mr. Fletch?"
Fletch: "I'm a shepherd".
Fletch: "You fellas wanna read me my rights?"
Detective #2: "You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to have your face kicked in by me. You have the right to have your balls stomped by him".
Fletch: "I'll waive my rights".
Gail Stanwyck: "She looks like a hooker. Look at her. Look at her! Could you love someone who looked like that?"
Fletch: "What are you talking about? Of course not! Five, ten minutes tops, maybe".
Ben Affleck, John Goodman, Alan Arkin, Bryan Cranston, Victor Garber 2012
36 The Avengers
Robert Downey, Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy Renner, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Stellan Skarsgård, Cobie Smulders, Clark Gregg 2012
35 Harlem Nights
Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Danny Aiello, Redd Foxx, Jasmine Guy, Michael Lerner, Stan Shaw, Arsenio Hall 1989
Quick: [Quick is getting ready to sleep with Dominique and putting his gun under a pillow... he discovers she's done the same under one] "Oh, that's cute! I thought I was the only one who slept with a gun under the pillow... look at the little gun!"
[kisses her gun]
Quick: "Aw, that's so adorable".
[pauses for a moment after realizing that she intends to kill him]
Quick: "It's cute".
34 Pulp Fiction
John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis, Uma Thurman, Ving Rhames, Harvey Keitel, Christopher Walken 1994
Brett: "I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so fucked up with us and Mr. Wallace. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never…"
Jules: [Jules shoots the man on the couch] "I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Marsellus Wallace look like?"
Jules: "What country are you from?"
Brett: "What? What? Wh - ?"
Jules: "'What' ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?"
Jules: "English, motherf--ker, do you speak it?"
Brett: "Yes! Yes!"
Jules: "Then you know what I'm sayin'!"
Jules: "Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!"
Jules: "Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherf--ker, say what one more G-dd--n time!"
Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Dana Delany, Bill Paxton, Sam Elliott, Powers Boothe, Michael Biehn, Michael Rooker, Billy Zane 1993
Doc Holliday: "And you must be Ringo. Look, darling, Johnny Ringo. The deadliest pistoleer since Wild Bill, they say. What do you think, darling? Should I hate him?"
Kate: "You don't even know him".
Doc Holliday: "Yes, but there's just something about him. Something around the eyes, I don't know, reminds me of... me. No. I'm sure of it, I hate him".
Wyatt Earp: [to Ike Clanton] "You die first, get it? Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I make your head into a canoe, you understand me?"
Ike Clanton: "What is that now? Twelve hands in a row? Holliday, son of a bitch, nobody's that lucky".
Doc Holliday: "Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game Ike. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!"
Doc Holliday: "It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds".
Doc Holliday: "I'm your huckleberry..."
Wyatt Earp: "How are you?"
Doc Holliday: "I'm dying, how are you?"
Wyatt Earp: "All right, Clanton... you called down the thunder, well now you've got it! You see that?"[pulls open his coat, revealing a badge]"It says United States Marshal!"[referring to Stilwell, laying dead] "Take a good look at him, Ike... 'cause that's how you're gonna end up! The Cowboys are finished, you understand? I see a red sash, I kill the man wearin' it! So run, you cur... RUN! Tell all the other curs the law's comin'! You tell 'em I'M coming... and hell's coming with me, you hear?... Hell's coming with me!"
Billy Clanton: "Why, it's the drunk piano player. You're so drunk, you can't hit nothin'. In fact, you're probably seeing double".
Doc Holliday: [takes out a second gun] "I have two guns, one for each of ya".
Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: "Why you doin' this, Doc?"
Doc Holliday: "Because Wyatt Earp is my friend".
Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: "Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends".
Doc Holliday: "...I don't".
Morgan Earp: "Remember what I said about people seein' a bright light before they die? It ain't true. I can't see a damn thing".
Doc Holliday: [taunting a card player who believes Holliday is cheating him] "Why Ed does this mean we're not friends anymore? You know Ed, if I thought you weren't my friend... I just don't think I could bear it!"
32 Top Gun
Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Anthony Edwards, Val Kilmer, Meg Ryan, Tom Skerritt, Michael Ironside, Tim Robbins 1986
Air Boss Johnson: "Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full".
Goose: "The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid".
Maverick: "I feel the need…"
Maverick, Goose: "...the need for speed!"
Maverick: "Talk to me, Goose".
Air Boss Johnson: "Two of your snot-nose jockeys did a fly-by on my tower at over 400 KNOTS! I want somebody's butt, I want it now, I've HAD IT!"
[storm out, then bumps into a Yeoman and spills coffee all over his pants]
Air Boss Johnson: "DAMN! That's TWICE! I WANT SOME BUTTS!"
Merlin: "What are you doing? You're slowing down, you're slowing down!"
Maverick: "I'm bringing him in closer, Merlin".
Merlin: "You're gonna do WHAT?!
Maverick: "I'll hit the brakes, he'll fly right by".
31 Back to the Future
Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Crispin Glover 1985
George McFly: "I'm George. George McFly. I'm your density. I mean, your destiny".
Marty McFly: "This is heavy".
Dr. Emmett Brown: "Don't worry. As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88 miles per hour, the instant the lightning strikes the tower... everything will be fine".
Dr. Emmett Brown: Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads".
Marvin Berry: [on the phone, as Marty plays 'Johnny B. Goode'] "Chuck! Chuck, it's Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Berry. You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this!"
George McFly: "Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!"
30 Rogue One
Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Ben Mendelsohn, Donnie Yen, Mads Mikkelsen, Alan Tudyk, Jiang Wen, Forest Whitaker 2016
Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray, Ted Knight, Michael O'Keefe, Cindy Morgan, Sarah Holcomb 1980
Carl Spackler: "Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!"
Al Czervik: [to his Asian companion] "I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?"
Carl Spackler: "A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice".
Judge Smails: "I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them".
Ty Webb: "Be the ball".
28 Bull Durham
Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Robert Wuhl 1988
Annie Savoy: "I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250... not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I've got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust it. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball".
Crash Davis: "Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic".
Crash Davis: "Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you'll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press'll think you're colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob".
Crash Davis: "Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains".
Crash Davis: "It's time to work on your interviews".
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: "My interviews? What do I gotta do?"
Crash Davis: "You're gonna have to learn your clichés. You're gonna have to study them, you're gonna have to know them. They're your friends. Write this down: 'We gotta play it one day at a time'".
Crash Davis: "After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out. Besides, uh, I don't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart".
Annie Savoy: "What do you believe in, then?"
Crash Davis: "Well, I believe in the soul, the c--k, the p---y, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days".
Skip: "You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!"
Skip: "What's our record, Larry?"
Larry: "Eight and sixteen".
Skip: "Eight... and sixteen. How'd we ever win eight?"
Larry: "It's a miracle".
Skip: "It's a miracle. This... is a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball".
Larry: [Larry jogs out to the mound to break up a players' conference] "Excuse me, but what the hell's going on out here?"
Crash Davis: "Well, Nuke's scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live... is it a live rooster?" [Jose nods] "We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present". [to the players] "Is that about right?" [the players nod] "We're dealing with a lot of shit".
Larry: "Okay, well, uh... candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let's get two! Go get 'em".
27 To Kill a Mockingbird
Gregory Peck, Mary Badham, Phillip Alford, Robert Duvall, Brock Peters, William Windom, Paul Fix 1962
26 Dirty Harry
Clint Eastwood, Andrew Robinson, Reni Santoni 1971
Harry Callahan: "I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"
The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown
Marlon Brando, Gene Hackman, Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Jackie Cooper, Ned Beatty, Valerie Perrine, Glenn Ford 1978
Harrison Ford, Chadwick Boseman, Christopher Meloni, Ryan Merriman, Andre Holland, Kelley Jakle, Brad Beyer, Toby Huss, T. R. Knight, Alan Tudyk, Hamish Linklater, John C. McGinley, Lucas Black, Nicole Beharie, C. J. Nitkowski, Brett Cullen 2013
68 Wedding Crashers
Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Christopher Walken, Rachel McAdams, Jane Seymour, Bradley Cooper 2005
Jeremy Grey: "Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye".
Jeremy Grey: "Listen, I'm getting married".
John Beckwith [points at the door]: "Get out".
Chazz Reinhold: "HEY MOM! CAN WE GET SOME MEATLOAF?"
Flip: "Yeah! Crabcakes and Football. That's what Maryland does!"
67 Ocean's Eleven
George Clooney, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Andy García, Julia Roberts, Don Cheadle, Casey Affleck, Elliott Gould, Carl Reiner 2001
Danny: "Ten oughta do it, don't you think?"
Rusty: [Stares of in silence, not looking at Danny]
Danny: "You think we need one more?"
Danny: "You think we need one more".
Danny: "All right, we'll get one more".
Donald Pleasence, Jamie Lee Curtis 1978
65 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Denholm Elliott, Alison Doody, Julian Glover, John Rhys-Davies, River Phoenix 1989
Professor Henry Jones: "I'm sorry about your head though. But I thought that you were one of them".
Indiana Jones: "Dad, they come in through the doors".
Professor Henry Jones: "Ha, good point".
Professor Henry Jones: "We named the *dog* Indiana".
64 Knute Rockne, All American
Pat O'Brien, Ronald Reagan 1940
George Gipp: "Win one for the Gipper!"
Knute Rockne: "Now I'm going to tell you something I've kept to myself for years. None of you ever knew George Gipp. He was long before your time, but you all know what a tradition he is at Notre Dame. And the last thing he said to me, 'Rock,' he said, 'sometime when the team is up against it and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there with all they've got and win just one for the Gipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Rock,' he said, 'but I'll know about it and I'll be happy'".
63 Mr. Holland's Opus
Richard Dreyfuss, Glenne Headly, Olympia Dukakis, Jay Thomas 1995
Vice Principal Wolters: "I care about these kids just as much as you do. And if I'm forced to choose between Mozart and reading and writing and long division, I choose long division".
Glenn Holland: "Well, I guess you can cut the arts as much as you want, Gene. Sooner or later, these kids aren't going to have anything to read or write about".
62 Rain Man
Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise 1988
Raymond: "I'm an excellent driver".
61 Saving Private Ryan
Tom Hanks, Edward Burns, Matt Damon, Tom Sizemore, Dennis Farina, Ted Danson, Paul Giamatti, Bryan Cranston, Harve Presnell, Vin Diesel 1998
60 We Were Soldiers
Mel Gibson, Sam Elliott, Madeleine Stowe 2002
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore [after saying a prayer]: "Oh, yes, and one more thing, dear Lord, about our enemies, ignore their heathen prayers and help us blow those little bastards straight to Hell. Amen".
59 The Graduate
Dustin Hoffman, Anne Bancroft, Katharine Ross 1967
Benjamin: "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me".
58 Dirty Dancing
Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey, Jerry Orbach, Cynthia Rhodes 1987
Johnny: "Nobody puts Baby in a corner".
57 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Brendan Gleeson, Richard Griffiths, John Hurt, Jason Isaacs, Alan Rickman, Fiona Shaw, Timothy Spall, Imelda Staunton, David Thewlis, Julie Walters 2010
56 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Brendan Gleeson, Richard Griffiths, John Hurt, Jason Isaacs, Alan Rickman, Fiona Shaw, Timothy Spall, Imelda Staunton, David Thewlis, Julie Walters 2011
55 Office Space
Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, Gary Cole 1999
Female Temp: "Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays".
Dom Portwood: "Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports".
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it".
Dom Portwood: "Yeah. Did you get that memo?"
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore".
Dom Portwood: "Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!"
Bob Slydell: "You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?"
Peter Gibbons: "Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour".
Bob Porter: "Da-uh? Space out?"
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work".
Bob Porter: "Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately".
Peter Gibbons: "I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob".
Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] "And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire..."
Gordon MacRae, Shirley Jones, Rod Steiger, Gloria Grahame, Eddie Albert, Gene Nelson 1955
53 The Pride of the Yankees
Gary Cooper, Teresa Wright 1942
Lou Gehrig:"Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth".
Charlton Heston, Henry Fonda, Robert Mitchum, Glenn Ford 1976
51 The Untouchables
Brian De Palma
Sean Connery, Kevin Costner, Andy García, Robert De Niro, Patricia Clarkson, Charles Martin Smith, Richard Bradford 1987
Malone: "You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way!"
Hutch: "Okay, let me ask you a question, which one do you want cause we're gonna stick to this?"
Starsky: "I've always had a thing for blondes".
Hutch: "Good, cause I'll take anything".
Huggy Bear: "Look man, it ain't even funny no more. There used to be a time around here when you peed on the wall, you did it outside".
Hutch: "Lighten up! It's Friday night. Okay, it's a bar".
Huggy Bear: "Hutch, it's Wednesday afternoon man. Snap out of it".
Huggy Bear: "I am an urban informer. I am not a snitch".
Captain Doby: "You've robbed 7 bookies over the past 6 months. You haven't filed a report, turned in any money; you haven't even arrested anybody".
Hutch: "How can I arrest them? They'll know I'm a cop".
49 First Blood
Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Brian Dennehy, Jack Starrett 1982
48 It's a Wonderful Life
James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore 1946
47 Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Paul Rudd, David Koechner, Steve Carrell, Fred Willard 2004
Ron Burgundy: [to dog] "You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair".
Ron Burgundy: "I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly…"
Ron Burgundy: "I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you".
Ron Burgundy: "I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal".
Veronica Corningstone: "Really".
Ron Burgundy: "People know me".
Veronica Corningstone: "Well, I'm very happy for you".
Ron Burgundy: "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany".
Ron Burgundy: "You stay classy, San Diego".
46 National Lampoon's Vacation
Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Randy Quaid, John Candy, Anthony Michael Hall, Dana Barron, Christie Brinkley 1983
The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown
100 Miracle on 34th Street
Edmund Gwenn, Maureen O'Hara, John Payne, Natalie Wood 1947
Kris Kringle: "Now wait a minute, Susie. Just because every child can't get his wish that doesn't mean there isn't a Santa Claus".
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura 1987
98 Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn, Sidney Poitier, Katharine Houghton, Beah Richards 1967
Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, Harry Dean Stanton, Veronica Cartwright, John Hurt, Ian Holm, Yaphet Kotto 1979
96 Beauty and the Beast
Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise
Robby Benson, Paige O'Hara, Jerry Orbach, Angela Lansbury (voices) 1991
95 Apollo 13
Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon, Bill Paxton, Gary Sinise, Ed Harris, Kathleen Quinlan 1995
Jim Lovell: "Houston, we have a problem".
Gene Kranz: "Failure is not an option".
NASA Director: "This could be the worst disaster NASA's ever faced".
Gene Kranz: "With all due respect, sir, I believe this is gonna be our finest hour".
94 Driving Miss Daisy
Morgan Freeman, Jessica Tandy, Dan Aykroyd, Esther Rolle, Patti LuPone 1989
93 Kicking & Screaming
Will Ferrell, Robert Duvall 2005
Phil Weston: "Hey, I almost had you!"
Buck Weston: "What do you call that again, when you almost win? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah... Losing!"
Referee: "Where do I know you from?"
Phil Weston: "I've been your neighbor for the last seven years!"
Referee: "No, that ain't it".
Phil Weston: "That's definitely it!"
Referee: "I'll figure it out".
Buck Weston: "You know how hard it's been for me ever since your mom died".
Phil Weston: "She didn't die! She divorced you!"
Buck Weston: "Ehh... tomatoes, tomahtoes".
92 Robin and the 7 Hoods
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr. 1964
91 The A-Team
Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, Sharlto Copley, Jessica Biel, Patrick Wilson, Brian Bloom 2010
Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: "I love it when a plan comes together".
90 What a Way to Go!
J. Lee Thompson
Shirley MacLaine, Dean Martin, Paul Newman, Robert Mitchum, Robert Cummings, Dick Van Dyke, Gene Kelly 1964
89 The Terminator
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton 1984
The Terminator: "I'll be back!"
88 Dr. No
Sean Connery 1962
James Bond: "Bond, James Bond"
87 The Bridge on the River Kwai
William Holden, Jack Hawkins, Alec Guinness, Sessue Hayakawa, James Donald, Geoffrey Horne 1957
86 12 Angry Men
Jack Lemmon, George C. Scott, James Gandolfini, Ossie Davis, William Petersen, Hume Cronyn, Edward James Olmos, Tony Danza, Mykelti Williamson, Armin Mueller-Stahl 1997
85 A Nightmare on Elm Street
Robert Englund, Heather Langenkamp, Johnny Depp 1984
Charlton Heston, Stephen Boyd, Jack Hawkins 1959
83 Forrest Gump
Tom Hanks, Robin Wright Penn, Gary Sinise, Sally Field, Mykelti Williamson, Haley Joel Osment 1994
Forrest Gump: "My momma always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get'".
Forrest Gump: "Stupid is as stupid does".
82 Guarding Tess
Shirley MacLaine, Nicolas Cage, Austin Pendleton 1994
81 The King's Speech
Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter 2010
80 The Ten Commandments
Cecil B. DeMille
Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Edward G. Robinson, Anne Baxter, Yvonne De Carlo, Debra Paget, John Derek 1956
79 Young Guns II
Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, Lou Diamond Phillips, Christian Slater, William Petersen 1990
William H. Bonney: "Yoohoo. I'll make you famous!"
Josiah Gordon "Doc" Scurlock: "You son of a bitch! You're starting to believe what they're writing about you, aren't you? Let me tell you what you really are! You rode a 15 year old boy straight to his grave, and the rest of us straight to hell... straight to hell! William H. Bonney! You are *not* a god!"
[cocks his gun and points it at Billy]
William H. Bonney: "Why don't you pull the trigger and find out?"
***Note from Greg: BOOM! I love that quote! Everytime I hear it I can't help but yell "WOW!" That's what I'm talking about...
Josiah Gordon "Doc" Scurlock: "Billy! Let's finish the game".
78 Couples Retreat
Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Jason Bateman, Faizon Love, Kristen Davis, Malin Åkerman, Kristen Bell, Kali Hawk, Jean Reno 2009
Dave: "Is his junk literally out of his pants?"
Dave: "Now it's a party".
Dave: "You got a pose called yoga guy gets his ass kicked? Cause that's my favorite one".
Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker
Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Leslie Nielsen, Peter Graves, Robert Stack, Lloyd Bridges, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar 1980
Ted Striker: "My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar".
Elaine Dickinson: "When will you be back?"
Ted Striker: "I can't tell you that. It's classified".
Rumack: "You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital".
Elaine Dickinson: "A hospital? What is it?"
Rumack: "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now".
Rumack: "Can you fly this plane, and land it?"
Ted Striker: "Surely you can't be serious".
Rumack: "I am serious... and don't call me Shirley".
Rumack: "Well, I don't have anything to say, you've done the best you could. You really have, the best you could. You can't expect to win em all. But, I want to tell you something I've kept to myself through these years. I was in the war myself, medical corps. I was on late duty one night when they brought in a badly wounded pilot from one of the raids. He could barely talk. He looked at me and said, 'The odds were against us up there, but we went in anyway, I'm glad the Captain made the right decision.' The pilot's name was George Zip".
Ted Striker: "George Zip said that?"
Rumack: "The last thing he said to me, 'Doc,' he said, 'some time when the crew is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to get out there and give it all they got and win just one for the Zipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Doc,' he said, 'but I won't smell too good, that's for sure'".
Ted Striker: "Excuse me doc, I got a plane to land".
Captain Oveur: "You ever been in a cockpit before?"
Joey: "No sir, I've never been up in a plane before".
Captain Oveur: "You ever seen a grown man naked?"
Joey: "Wait a minute. I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers".
Roger Murdock: "I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot".
Joey: "You are Kareem! I've seen you play. My dad's got season tickets".
Roger Murdock: "I think you should go back to your seat now Joey. Right Clarence?"
Captain Oveur: "Nahhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone, let him stay here".
Roger Murdock: "But just remember, my name is..."
[showing his nametag]
Roger Murdock: "ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an airline pilot".
Joey: "I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense".
[Kareem's getting mad]
Joey: "And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try... except during the playoffs".
Roger Murdock: [breaking character] "The hell I don't! LISTEN KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes".
76 Friday the 13th
Sean S. Cunningham
Betsy Palmer, Adrienne King, Kevin Bacon 1980
75 Two Mules for Sister Sara
Clint Eastwood, Shirley MacLaine 1970
[toasting Sister Sara]
Gen. LeClair: "To your virtues... and especially your vices, Sara".
Sara: "If money is all you care about then why did you fight in that war?"
Hogan: "Everybody's got a right to be a sucker once".
74 Apocalypse Now
Francis Ford Coppola
Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall, Frederic Forrest, Sam Bottoms, Laurence Fishburne, Dennis Hopper 1979
Kilgore: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning".
Franklin J. Schaffner
George C. Scott, Karl Malden 1970
Patton: "Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country".
72 Raiders of the Lost Ark
Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Denholm Elliott, Paul Freeman, John Rhys-Davies, Ronald Lacey, Alfred Molina 1981
Indiana: "I hate snakes, Jock! I hate 'em!"
71 Road House
Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch, Sam Elliott, Ben Gazzara 1989
Dalton: "Pain don't hurt".
Dalton: "All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice".
Dalton: "I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice".
Doc: "How's a guy like you end up a bouncer?"
Dalton: "Just lucky I guess".
The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown
140 The Cannonball Run
Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Farrah Fawcett, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Roger Moore, Jackie Chan 1981
139 Another 48 Hrs.
Eddie Murphy, Nick Nolte 1990
138 Terms of Endearment
James L. Brooks
Shirley MacLaine, Debra Winger, Jack Nicholson, Jeff Daniels, Danny DeVito, John Lithgow 1983
Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger, Robert Wuhl, Jack Palance, Billy Dee Williams 1989
136 Eight Men Out
John Cusack, Charlie Sheen, David Strathairn, John Mahoney, Clifton James, D. B. Sweeney, Studs Terkel 1988
135 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
James Stewart, Jean Arthur, Claude Rains 1939
134 Rocky III
Sylvester Stallone, Carl Weathers, Talia Shire, Burgess Meredith, Burt Young, Mr. T, Hulk Hogan 1982
Clubber Lang: "I pity the fool"
Interviewer: "What's your prediction for the fight?"
Clubber Lang: "My prediction?"
Interviewer: "Yes, your prediction".
[Clubber looks into camera]
Clubber Lang: "Pain!"
Apollo Creed: "Now, when we fought, you had that eye of the tiger, man; the edge! And now you gotta get it back, and the way to get it back is to go back to the beginning. You know what I mean?"
Rocky Balboa: "You ain't so bad, you ain't so bad, you ain't nothin'. C'mon, champ, hit me in the face! My mom hits harder than you!"
Clubber Lang: [Calling to Adrian; Smooth talks] "Hey, Woman. Hey, Woman! Listen here. Since your old man ain't got no heart, maybe you like to see a real man. I bet you stay up late every night dreamin' you had a real man, don't ya? I'll tell you what. Bring your pretty little self over to my apartment tonight, and I'll show you a real man".
Clubber Lang: "I'm going to bust you up".
Rocky Balboa: "Go for it".
Apollo Creed: [during the rematch with Lang] "He's gettin' killed out there!"
Paulie: "No, no, no! He ain't gettin' killed; he's gettin' mad!"
133 The Bad News Bears
Walter Matthau, Tatum O'Neal, Chris Barnes, Vic Morrow 1976
132 Magnum Force
Clint Eastwood, Hal Holbrook, Tim Matheson, David Soul 1973
Sean Connery 1964
James Bond: "Bond, James Bond"
130 Missing in Action
Chuck Norris, James Hong, M. Emmet Walsh 1984
129 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
William Mosely, Anna Popplewell, Skandar Keynes, Georgie Henley 2005
128 Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Sacha Baron Cohen 2006
Ricky Bobby: "You sick, sons of bitches. I mean you walk in that door, on your two legs... all fat and cocky and lookin at me in my chair. And you tell me its all in my head? I hope that both of you have sons... Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt".
Lucius Washington: [enraged] "Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! Don't you put that on us! You are NOT paralyzed!"
Ricky Bobby, Cal Naughton, Jr.: "Shake and bake!"
Texas Ranger: "Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!"
Texas Ranger: "Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!"
Ricky Bobby: "Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers".
Cal Naughton, Jr.: "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!"
Ricky Bobby: [running around on the track in his underwear] "Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!"
127 Jurassic Park
Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough 1993
126 The Maltese Falcon
Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, Sydney Greenstreet, Peter Lorre 1941
125 Ocean's Twelve
George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, Julia Roberts 2004
124 Young Guns
Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Lou Diamond Phillips, Dermot Mulroney, Casey Siemaszko 1988
Charley Bowdre: "It ain't easy having pals".
Doc: "Advices from Lincoln report that Jose Chavez Y Chavez moved to California where he changed his name and took work on a fruit ranch. Josiah 'Doc' Scurlock is reported to have left the West for the East, taking with him a celestial bride, her mother and fourteen brothers and sisters. Susan McSween went on to see both her husband's and John Tunstall's dreams to fruition, by becoming one of most prominent cattlewomen of all time. Governor Axtel was forced to resign by President Rutherford B. Hayes and both the Murphy-Dolan faction and the Santa Fe Ring collapsed. William H. Bonney, also known as 'Billy the Kid' continued to ride, never leaving New Mexico. He was caught in Fort Sumner by Sheriff Pat Garret and killed. Sources report that he was unarmed, and shot in the dark. He was buried with Charley Bowdre at Old Fort Sumner. Advices report that sometime later, an unidentified person snuck into the graveyard and chiseled an inscription. The epitaph read only one word... 'Pals'".
123 Beverly Hills Cop II
Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Brigitte Nielsen, Jürgen Prochnow, Ronny Cox, John Ashton, Paul Reiser 1987
122 Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Jim Broadbent, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Timothy Spall, David Thewlis, Julie Walters 2009
121 Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams 1983
Luke: "Ben! Why didn't you tell me? You told me that Darth Vader betrayed and murdered my father".
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and "became" Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view".
Lando Calrissian: "That blast came from the Death Star! That thing's operational!"
Luke: "There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know".
Han Solo: "You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient".
Princess Leia: "I love you".
Han Solo: "I know".
Han Solo: "I have a really bad feeling about this".
120 Major League
David S. Ward
Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen, Rene Russo 1989
Heywood: "How's your wife and my kids?"
Harry Doyle: "In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar".
Harry Doyle: "That's all we got, one goddamn hit?"
Assistant: "You can't say goddamn on the air".
Harry Doyle: "Don't worry, nobody is listening anyway".
Eddie Harris: "You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?"
Harry Doyle: "JUST a bit outside".
119 Spies Like Us
Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Bernie Casey 1985
Russian Interregator #1: "Why are you here?"
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Why am I here? Why are you here? Why is anybody here? I think it was Jean-Paul Sartre who once said... how do you spell spell Sartre?"
[soldier slaps him]
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Owww... and let that be a lesson to you".
Russian Interregator #2: "Every minute you don't tell us why you are here, I cut off a finger".
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Mine or yours?"
Russian Interregator #2: "Yours".
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Damn!"
[Surrounded by Ninja warriors]
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Alright. Stop right there... and I'll bring back the sun. Okay..."
[Shows a picture from his wallet]
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "This is my sister. You can all have her. I hear she's very good".
118 Live Free or Die Hard
Bruce Willis, Justin Long 2007
117 Ghostbusters II
Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis, Ernie Hudson, Annie Potts, Peter MacNicol 1989
Louis Tully: "So the 7 little dwarves had a limited partnership in a small mining operation. And one day a beautiful princess came to live with them. And they bartered housekeeping services for room and board, which was a real good deal for them because they didn't have to withhold social security or income tax or nothin', which you're really not supposed to do, you see, but for the purpose of the story, I think it's okay".
116 Rambo: First Blood Part II
George P. Cosmatos
Sylvester Stallone, Julia Nickson-Soul, Richard Crenna 1985
115 The Godfather Part III
Francis Ford Coppola
Al Pacino, Andy García, Diane Keaton, Talia Shire, Sofia Coppola, Joe Mantegna, Bridget Fonda, George Hamilton, Eli Wallach 1990
Michael Corleone: "Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in".
114 Rocky II
Sylvester Stallone, Carl Weathers, Talia Shire, Burgess Meredith, Burt Young 1979
Interviewer: "Do you have a criminal record?"
Rocky Balboa: "Nothin' worth braggin' about".
Rocky Balboa: "It's Apollo".
Mickey: "Who were you expecting?"
Rocky Balboa: "I was hoping he wouldn't show".
Rocky Balboa: "I just got one thing to say... to my wife at home: Yo, Adrian! I DID IT!"
Rocky Balboa: "Hey yo, Mick, what do I got to chase a chicken for?"
Mickey: "First, because I said so. And second, is because chicken-chasing is how we used to train back in the old days. If you can catch this thing, you can catch greased lighting".
Michael B. Jordan, Sylvester Stallone, Tessa Thompson, Graham McTavish, Tony Bellew, Phylicia Rashad, Andre Ward 2015
112 For Love of the Game
Kevin Costner, Kelly Preston, John C. Reilly, Brian Cox 1999
111 Rumor Has It...
Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Costner, Shirley MacLaine, Mark Ruffalo 2005
Sarah: "Maybe every girl in my family have to sleep with you".
Beau Burroughs: "I don't know if they have to, but they certainly have".
Katherine: "Come on in, I'll put on a pot of Bourbon".
Katherine: [meeting Jeff] "You don't look like a lawyer..."
Jeff: "You don't look like a Grandma".
Katherine: "You ARE a lawyer! Full of shit".
Katharine: "Life is short, but marriage is long... so drink up, and it will make it go a hell of a lot faster".
Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Liev Schreiber, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci 2015
Jack O'Connell, Miyavi, Domhnall Gleeson, Garrett Hedlund, Jai Courtney 2014
108 Rebel Without a Cause
James Dean, Natalie Wood 1955
107 Ocean's Eleven
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop, Angie Dickinson, Richard Conte, Cesar Romero 1960
Jimmy Foster: "I made a cardinal rule: never to answer the 'phone in December".
Massuese: "That's crazy. Why?"
Jimmy Foster: "Because one December, every time I picked up the 'phone they sent me out into the snow to play with my friends. That was at the Bulge".
106 Schindler's List
Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Ben Kingsley, Caroline Goodall, Jonathan Sagall, Embeth Davidtz 1993
105 Trading Places
Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd, Jamie Lee Curtis, Don Ameche, Ralph Bellamy 1983
Louis Winthorpe III: "I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro".
104 We Are Marshall
Matthew McConaughey, Matthew Fox, Anthony Mackie 2006
Jack Lengyel: "For those of you who may not know, this is the final resting place for six members of the 1970 Thundering Herd. The plane crash that took their lives was so severe, so absolute, that their bodies were unable to be identified. So they were buried here. Together. Six players. Six teammates. Six Sons of Marshall. This is our past, gentlemen. This is where we have been. This is how we got here. This is who we are. Today, I want to talk about our opponent this afternoon. They're bigger, faster, stronger, more experienced and on paper, they're just better. And they know it too. But I want to tell you something that they don't know. They don't know your heart. I do. I've seen it. You have shown it to me. You have shown this coaching staff, your teammates. You have shown yourselves just exactly who you are in here".
[Thumps his chest]
Jack Lengyel: "When you take that field today, you've got to lay that heart on the line, men. From the souls of your feet, with every ounce of blood you've got in your body, lay it on the line until the final whistle blows. And if you do that, if you do that, we cannot lose. We may be behind on the scoreboard at the end of the game but if you play like that we cannot be defeated. Now we came here today to remember six young men and sixty-nine others who will not be on the field with you today, but they will be watching. You can bet your ass that they'll be gritting their teeth with every snap of that football. You understand me? How you play today, from this moment on is how you will be remembered. This is your opportunity to rise from these ashes and grab glory. We are..."
Young Thundering Herd: "Marshall!"
Jack Lengyel: "We are".
Young Thundering Herd: "Marshall!"
Jack Lengyel: "We are!"
Young Thundering Herd: "Marshall!"
103 The Jerk
Steve Martin, Bernadette Peters 1979
Navin R. Johnson: "Huh? I am *not* a bum. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends, and... uh... my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi..."
Navin R. Johnson: "For one dollar I'll guess your weight, your height, or your sex".
Navin R. Johnson: "Well I'm gonna to go then! And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need *you*. I don't need anything. Except this".
[picks up an ashtray]
Navin R. Johnson: "And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! - And this. That's all I need".
Navin R. Johnson: "The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, and this magazine, and the chair".
Navin R. Johnson: [outside now] "And I don't need one other thing, except my dog".
[Shithead growls at him]
Navin R. Johnson: "I don't need my dog".
Brian De Palma
Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer, Steven Bauer, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Robert Loggia 1983
Tony Montana: "Say hello to my little friend!"
Gene Hackman, Barbara Hershey, Dennis Hopper, Sheb Wooley 1986
Coach Norman Dale: "My practices aren't designed for your enjoyment".
Coach Norman Dale: "If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don't care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, in my book we're gonna be winners".