Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Entering the Top 50…

Know Your Medal of Honor Recipients:

Sergeant Henry M. Fox (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on September 19, 1864, at Winchester, Virginia. His citation reads:

Capture of flag.

Lieutenant John R. Fox (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on December 26, 1944, in the vicinity of Sommocolonia, Italy. His citation reads:

For extraordinary heroism against an armed enemy in the vicinity of Sommocolonia, Italy on 26 December 1944, while serving as a member of Cannon Company, 366th Infantry Regiment, 92d Infantry Division. During the preceding few weeks, Lieutenant Fox served with the 598th Field Artillery Battalion as a forward observer. On Christmas night, enemy soldiers gradually infiltrated the town of Sommocolonia in civilian clothes, and by early morning the town was largely in hostile hands. Commencing with a heavy barrage of enemy artillery at 0400 hours on 26 December 1944, an organized attack by uniformed German units began. Being greatly outnumbered, most of the United States Infantry forces were forced to withdraw from the town, but Lieutenant Fox and some other members of his observer party voluntarily remained on the second floor of a house to direct defensive artillery fire. At 0800 hours, Lieutenant Fox reported that the Germans were in the streets and attacking in strength. He then called for defensive artillery fire to slow the enemy advance. As the Germans continued to press the attack towards the area that Lieutenant Fox occupied, he adjusted the artillery fire closer to his position. Finally he was warned that the next adjustment would bring the deadly artillery right on top of his position. After acknowledging the danger, Lieutenant Fox insisted that the last adjustment be fired as this was the only way to defeat the attacking soldiers. Later, when a counterattack retook the position from the Germans, Lieutenant Fox's body was found with the bodies of approximately 100 German soldiers. Lieutenant Fox's gallant and courageous actions, at the supreme sacrifice of his own life, contributed greatly to delaying the enemy advance until other infantry and artillery units could reorganize to repel the attack. His extraordinary valorous actions were in keeping with the most cherished traditions of military service, and reflect the utmost credit on him, his unit, and the United States Army.

Private Nicholas Fox (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on June 14, 1863, at Port Hudson, Louisiana. His citation reads:

Made 2 trips across an open space, in the face of the enemy's concentrated fire, and secured water for the sick and wounded.


The Wife’s Top 5 Movies

5. Gone With the Wind

4. The Sound of Music

3. Sister Act 2

2. Steel Magnolias

1. The Cutting Edge

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,613 Movies of All-Time Countdown

50 Dirty Dancing
Emile Ardolino
Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey, Jerry Orbach, Cynthia Rhodes
1987
Johnny: "Nobody puts Baby in a corner".

49 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
David Yates
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Brendan Gleeson, Richard Griffiths, John Hurt, Jason Isaacs, Alan Rickman, Fiona Shaw, Timothy Spall, Imelda Staunton, David Thewlis, Julie Walters
2010

48 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
David Yates
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Brendan Gleeson, Richard Griffiths, John Hurt, Jason Isaacs, Alan Rickman, Fiona Shaw, Timothy Spall, Imelda Staunton, David Thewlis, Julie Walters
2011

47 Office Space
Mike Judge
Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, Gary Cole
1999
Female Temp: "Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays".

Dom Portwood: "Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports".
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it".
Dom Portwood: "Yeah. Did you get that memo?"
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore".
Dom Portwood: "Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!"

Bob Slydell: "You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?"
Peter Gibbons: "Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour".
Bob Porter: "Da-uh? Space out?"
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work".

Bob Porter: "Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately".
Peter Gibbons: "I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob".

Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] "And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire..."

46 Oklahoma!
Fred Zinnemann
Gordon MacRae, Shirley Jones, Rod Steiger, Gloria Grahame, Eddie Albert, Gene Nelson
1955

45 The Pride of the Yankees
Sam Wood
Gary Cooper, Teresa Wright
1942
Lou Gehrig:"Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth".

44 Midway
Jack Smight
Charlton Heston, Henry Fonda, Robert Mitchum, Glenn Ford
1976

43 The Untouchables
Brian De Palma
Sean Connery, Kevin Costner, Andy García, Robert De Niro, Patricia Clarkson, Charles Martin Smith, Richard Bradford
1987
Malone: "You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way!"

42 Starsky & Hutch
Todd Phillips
Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Snoop Dogg, Juliette Lewis, Amy Smart, Carmen Electra
2004
Starsky: "Do it".

Hutch: "Okay, let me ask you a question, which one do you want cause we're gonna stick to this?"
Starsky: "I've always had a thing for blondes".
Hutch: "Good, cause I'll take anything".

Huggy Bear: "Look man, it ain't even funny no more. There used to be a time around here when you peed on the wall, you did it outside".
Hutch: "Lighten up! It's Friday night. Okay, it's a bar".
Huggy Bear: "Hutch, it's Wednesday afternoon man. Snap out of it".

Huggy Bear: "I am an urban informer. I am not a snitch".

Captain Doby: "You've robbed 7 bookies over the past 6 months. You haven't filed a report, turned in any money; you haven't even arrested anybody".
Hutch: "How can I arrest them? They'll know I'm a cop".

41 First Blood
Ted Kotcheff
Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Brian Dennehy, Jack Starrett
1982

40 Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Adam McKay
Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Paul Rudd, David Koechner, Steve Carrell, Fred Willard
2004
Ron Burgundy: [to dog] "You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair".

Ron Burgundy: "I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly…"

Ron Burgundy: "I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you".

Ron Burgundy: "I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal".
Veronica Corningstone: "Really".
Ron Burgundy: "People know me".
Veronica Corningstone: "Well, I'm very happy for you".
Ron Burgundy: "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany".

Ron Burgundy: "You stay classy, San Diego".

39 National Lampoon's Vacation
Harold Ramis
Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Randy Quaid, John Candy, Anthony Michael Hall, Dana Barron, Christie Brinkley
1983

38 Ghostbusters
Ivan Reitman
Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis, Ernie Hudson, Annie Potts
1984
Winston Zeddemore: "Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'YES'!"

Dr. Peter Venkman: "We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!"

Dr Ray Stantz: "Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here".
Walter Peck: "They caused an explosion!"
Mayor: "Is this true?"
Dr. Peter Venkman: "Yes it's true".
[pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman: "This man has no dick".

Dr Ray Stantz: "Gozer the Gozerian... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension".
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Sarcastically] "That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Ray".

Dr Ray Stantz: "Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college! You don't know what it's like out there! I've *worked* in the private sector. They expect *results*".

37 Blazing Saddles
Mel Brooks
Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder, Mel Brooks, Madeline Kahn, Harvey Korman, Slim Pickens, Alex Karras
1974
Lyle: "Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree. Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen".

36 12 Angry Men
Sidney Lumet
Lee J. Cobb, Henry Fonda, E.G. Marshall, Jack Warden, Jack Klugman, Ed Begley, Martin Balsam, Robert Webber, Joseph Sweeney, John Fiedler, Edward Binns
1957

35 Beaches
Garry Marshall
Bette Midler, Barbara Hershey, John Heard, James Read, Lainie Kazan, Spalding Gray
1988
CC Bloom: "But enough about me, let's talk about you... what do YOU think of me?"

34 American Graffiti
George Lucas
Richard Dreyfuss, Ron Howard, Candy Clark, Harrison Ford, Cindy Williams, Paul LeMat
1973

33 Beverly Hills Cop
Martin Brest
Eddie Murphy, John Ashton, Judge Reinhold
1984
Axel Foley: "Don't you think I realize what's going on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don't you think I know that if I was some hotshot from out of town that pulled inside here and you guys made a reservation mistake, I'd be the first one to get a room and I'd be upstairs relaxing right now. But I'm not some hotshot from out of town, I'm a small reporter from 'Rolling Stone' magazine that's in town to do an exclusive interview with Michael Jackson that's gonna be picked up by every major magazine in the country. I was gonna call the article 'Michael Jackson Is Sitting On Top of the World,' but now I think I might as well just call it 'Michael Jackson Can Sit On Top of the World Just As Long As He Doesn't Sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel 'Cause There's No N*ggers Allowed in There!'"

Detective Foster: "Yeah, and we're not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe".
Axel Foley: [mocking him] "You're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe? It should be more natural, brother. It should flow out, like this - 'Look, man, I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!' See, that's more natural for us. You been hanging out with this dude too long".

32 Breakfast at Tiffany's
Blake Edwards
Audrey Hepburn, George Peppard, Buddy Ebsen, Mickey Rooney
1961

31 Fletch
Michael Ritchie
Chevy Chase, Joe Don Baker, Geena Davis
1985
[driving away from police in car with startled teenager]
Teenager: "Are you a cop?"
Fletch: "As far as you know".
Teenager: "Are you gonna take me to jail for car theft?"
Fletch: "Why? Did you steal the car?"
Teenager: "I sure did".
Fletch: "Well, I'm not even sure that's a crime anymore. There've been a lot of changes in the law".

Fletch: "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I didn't want to have to do this. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses".

[During a proctological exam]
Fletch: "You using the whole fist, Doc?"

Madeline: "I'm sorry, who are you again?"
Fletch: "I'm Frieda's boss".
Madeline: "Who's Frieda?"
Fletch: "My secretary".

Fletch: "You know, what tipped it for me was something your wife said while we were in bed together".
Alan Stanwyck: "Oh? And what was that?"
Fletch: "Curiously, she said we had roughly the same build. From the waist up, I imagine".

Fletch: "If you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards".

[Fletch is being interrogated by Chief Karlin and is giving him attitude]
Chief Karlin: "So, what's your name?"
Fletch: "Fletch".
Chief Karlin: "Full name?"
Fletch: "Fletch F. Fletch".
Chief Karlin: "I see, And what do you do for a living, Mr. Fletch?"
Fletch: "I'm a shepherd".

Fletch: "You fellas wanna read me my rights?"
Detective #2: "You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to have your face kicked in by me. You have the right to have your balls stomped by him".
Fletch: "I'll waive my rights".

Gail Stanwyck: "She looks like a hooker. Look at her. Look at her! Could you love someone who looked like that?"
Fletch: "What are you talking about? Of course not! Five, ten minutes tops, maybe".

30 Harlem Nights
Eddie Murphy
Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Danny Aiello, Redd Foxx, Jasmine Guy, Michael Lerner, Stan Shaw, Arsenio Hall
1989
Quick: [Quick is getting ready to sleep with Dominique and putting his gun under a pillow... he discovers she's done the same under one] "Oh, that's cute! I thought I was the only one who slept with a gun under the pillow... look at the little gun!"
[kisses her gun]
Quick: "Aw, that's so adorable".
[pauses for a moment after realizing that she intends to kill him]
Quick: "It's cute".

29 Pulp Fiction
Quentin Tarantino
John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis, Uma Thurman, Ving Rhames, Harvey Keitel, Christopher Walken
1994
Brett: "I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so fucked up with us and Mr. Wallace. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never…"
Jules: [Jules shoots the man on the couch] "I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Marsellus Wallace look like?"
Brett: "What?"
Jules: "What country are you from?"
Brett: "What? What? Wh - ?"
Jules: "'What' ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?"
Brett: "What?"
Jules: "English, motherf--ker, do you speak it?"
Brett: "Yes! Yes!"
Jules: "Then you know what I'm sayin'!"
Brett: "Yes!"
Jules: "Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!"
Brett: "What?"
Jules: "Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherf--ker, say what one more G-dd--n time!"


28 Tombstone
George Cosmatos
Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Dana Delany, Bill Paxton, Sam Elliott, Powers Boothe, Michael Biehn, Michael Rooker, Billy Zane
1993
Doc Holliday: "And you must be Ringo. Look, darling, Johnny Ringo. The deadliest pistoleer since Wild Bill, they say. What do you think, darling? Should I hate him?"
Kate: "You don't even know him".
Doc Holliday: "Yes, but there's just something about him. Something around the eyes, I don't know, reminds me of... me. No. I'm sure of it, I hate him".

Wyatt Earp: [to Ike Clanton] "You die first, get it? Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I make your head into a canoe, you understand me?"

Ike Clanton: "What is that now? Twelve hands in a row? Holliday, son of a bitch, nobody's that lucky".
Doc Holliday: "Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game Ike. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!"

Doc Holliday: "It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds".

Doc Holliday: "I'm your huckleberry..."

Wyatt Earp: "How are you?"
Doc Holliday: "I'm dying, how are you?"

Wyatt Earp: "All right, Clanton... you called down the thunder, well now you've got it! You see that?"[pulls open his coat, revealing a badge]"It says United States Marshal!"[referring to Stilwell, laying dead] "Take a good look at him, Ike... 'cause that's how you're gonna end up! The Cowboys are finished, you understand? I see a red sash, I kill the man wearin' it! So run, you cur... RUN! Tell all the other curs the law's comin'! You tell 'em I'M coming... and hell's coming with me, you hear?... Hell's coming with me!"

Billy Clanton: "Why, it's the drunk piano player. You're so drunk, you can't hit nothin'. In fact, you're probably seeing double".
Doc Holliday: [takes out a second gun] "I have two guns, one for each of ya".

Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: "Why you doin' this, Doc?"
Doc Holliday: "Because Wyatt Earp is my friend".
Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: "Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends".
Doc Holliday: "...I don't".

Morgan Earp: "Remember what I said about people seein' a bright light before they die? It ain't true. I can't see a damn thing".

Doc Holliday: [taunting a card player who believes Holliday is cheating him] "Why Ed does this mean we're not friends anymore? You know Ed, if I thought you weren't my friend... I just don't think I could bear it!"

27 Top Gun
Tony Scott
Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Anthony Edwards, Val Kilmer, Meg Ryan, Tom Skerritt, Michael Ironside, Tim Robbins
1986
Air Boss Johnson: "Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full".

Goose: "The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid".

Maverick: "I feel the need…"
Maverick, Goose: "...the need for speed!"

Maverick: "Talk to me, Goose".

Air Boss Johnson: "Two of your snot-nose jockeys did a fly-by on my tower at over 400 KNOTS! I want somebody's butt, I want it now, I've HAD IT!"
[storm out, then bumps into a Yeoman and spills coffee all over his pants]
Air Boss Johnson: "DAMN! That's TWICE! I WANT SOME BUTTS!"

Merlin: "What are you doing? You're slowing down, you're slowing down!"
Maverick: "I'm bringing him in closer, Merlin".
Merlin: "You're gonna do WHAT?!
Maverick: "I'll hit the brakes, he'll fly right by".

26 Back to the Future
Robert Zemeckis
Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Crispin Glover
1985
George McFly: "I'm George. George McFly. I'm your density. I mean, your destiny".

Marty McFly: "This is heavy".

Dr. Emmett Brown: "Don't worry. As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88 miles per hour, the instant the lightning strikes the tower... everything will be fine".

Dr. Emmett Brown: "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads".

Marvin Berry: [on the phone, as Marty plays 'Johnny B. Goode'] "Chuck! Chuck, it's Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Berry. You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this!"

George McFly: "Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!"


The I’m just sayin… Quote of the Week

I understand this is a rather long quote, but it was too hard to cut it down.

I expect that the Battle of Britain is about to begin. Upon this battle depends the survival of Christian civilization. Upon it depends our own British life, and the long continuity of our institutions and our Empire. The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us. Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be freed and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new dark age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves, that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, This was their finest hour. – Sir Winston Churchill

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