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If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Sunday, May 16, 2010

Happy Birthday MaMa!!!!!!!

On May 16, 1915 my grandmother (MaMa) was born. Here are 95 things about MaMa (including some things that happened the year she was born).

1. WWI (aka, The War to End All Wars) was being fought (though the US wouldn’t join for another couple of years).

2. Woodrow Wilson was President.

3. The US House of Representatives rejected a proposal to give women the right to vote.

4. An act of the US Congress designates the US Coast Guard as a military branch.

5. The first stone of the Lincoln Memorial is put into place.

6. The Civil War was still fresh in everyone’s mind since it had only ended about 50 earlier. WOW!

7. Pluto had not been made a planet yet (and thus, had not yet had its planet status removed).

8. Babe Ruth hit his first career home run off of Jack Warhop.

9. The first prototype tank is tested.

10. The theory of general relativity is formulated!

11. Billie Holiday, Orson Welles, Paul Samuelson, Les Paul, Ingrid Bergman, Robert Strassburg, Arthur Miller, Sargent Shriver, and Frank Sinatra were born the same year as MaMa.

12. Outlaw and Civil War veteran Frank James (older brother of Jesse James), and Booker T. Washington died the year MaMa was born.

13. With the addition of Oklahoma (1907), New Mexico (1912), and Arizona (1912) there were 48 states in the United States the year MaMa was born.

14. MaMa was born in the first term of Woodrow Wilson’s administration (as noted before). Since then, she has lived through Wilson’s second term, Warren G. Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Harry S. Truman, Dwight D. Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson (her favorite... not really), Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and now Barack Obama.

15. Teddy Roosevelt and William H. Taft were the only former Presidents still alive when MaMa was born.

16. Two former Confederate Generals died the decade before MaMa was born (Wade Hampton III – 1902 & James Longstreet – 1904).

17. MaMa was born (I think) and raised (I know) in Branchville, SC.

18. My grandfather promised her they could move there after the war.

19. Silly MaMa... there is ALWAYS a war being fought.

20. Branchville is famous for having the world’s oldest railroad junction.

21. MaMa would go as a (very) young girl and watch the soldiers come home (from WWI).

22. MaMa is the oldest child in her family.

23. She had 4 brothers and no sisters (one brother is still living).

23. MaMa has two sons.

24. MaMa has 4 grandsons and one granddaughter.

25. Just on my Dad’s side of the family, MaMa has 6 great-granddaughters and 1 great-grandson (my memory is failing me right now and I’m having trouble remembering the number of great-grands on the other side of the family).

26. MaMa was heard one Christmas saying “Where the _____ did all these girls come from?” Haha... just kidding.

26. MaMa would take me on walks around her neighborhood when I was growing up.

27. Sometimes we would walk to “the other little boy’s church” down the street from her house and sit and talk.

28. There was a “sticky” bush (an evergreen type bush... I don’t know the name of it, we always just called it a sticky bush because it would stick you if you touched it) beside where we would sit.

29. One day we walked there with my cousin Jason and MaMa pushed me into the sticky bush. (***That’s how I remember it. She claims I was reaching for a ball and fell in. I’ll let you decide what really happened***).

30. One year she pushed a Christmas tree over on me. (***That’s how I remember it. She claims I was pulling on an ornament and pulled the tree onto me. I’ll let you decide what really happened***).

31. I made sure it was ok with her before I asked The Wife to marry me.

32. She made my parents take me to the doctor when I was a baby.

33. Come to find out, I was crying because I had an ear infection.

34. One Christmas, she bought all of the males of the family sweaters.

35. She didn’t realize she had done that until we opened them.

36. I talk to her almost every day on the phone.

37. We (just the two of us) used to take trips up to Branchville to visit her brothers.

38. She would protect me when my brother, sister, Mom, and Dad were being mean to me.

39. She had to protect me a lot.

40. She would (will) scold me by saying, “Greggy! One day that mouth of yours will get you into trouble!”

41. I thought of her as I was talking a guy with a gun (pointed at me) out of taking my wallet. (***True story, I convinced him to just take the cash and leave me with everything else***).

42. Growing up, I would sit between her and Da (my grandfather) in church.

43. Da would sometimes tickle me during the service.

44. MaMa would try to hit Da to make him stop.

45. MaMa’s arms are not long enough to reach across even a child.

46. She would end up hitting me.

47. I sat between her and my Uncle Keith at multiple funerals.

48. Uncle Keith would tell a joke to make me laugh.

49. MaMa would try to hit Uncle Keith to get him to stop.

50. I’d get hit.

51. When MaMa says George, Jr (my Dad) it sounds like one word.

52. When she says Keith, it sounds like Key-ith.

53. MaMa is like Maverick... short and protective of the family (Da was like a smart version of Scooby... an outgoing friend to all).

54. She has lived in the same house since WWII.

55. She can tell you the original owners of all the houses around her.

56. She used to work in the nursery at Ashley River Baptist Church.

57. She’s also a little like Lucy... stubborn at times and if you try to make her do something she might growl at you. J

58. The Cubs last won the World Series just 7 years before MaMa was born.

59. When I would spend the night with my grandparents when I was little, I would sleep in the bed with her. She would tell me to shut my eyes and count to 10 right as she turned off the lights. When I would open my eyes, I’d be able to see in the dark.

60. She always had bubblegum at her house for her grandchildren to chew when we’d come over.

61. She had other candy too, but I just wanted the bubblegum.

62. She let’s my Dad and Uncle eat candy before dinner. That drives my Mom crazy. J

63. She is a member of the “Greatest Generation”. And you people think I have an ego...

64. She was born 3 years before Ted Williams.

65. She was born 2 years before JFK.

66. She is 3 years older than Billy Graham, Jr.

67. She was born 4 years before Jackie Robinson.

68. She was born 1 year after Joe DiMaggio.

69. She lived through the Great Depression.

70. Emma Goldman was arrested for lecturing on birth control a year AFTER MaMa was born.

71. President Woodrow Wilson sent 12,000 troops over the US-Mexico border to pursue Pancho Villa the year after MaMa was born. I had some Pancho Villa tequila on Halloween two years ago. If he was anything like the tequila, they should have just let him go.

72. The light switch was invented the year after MaMa was born.

73. The Cubs played their first game at Weeghman Park (now Wrigley Field) the year after MaMa was born.

74. The Saturday Evening Post published its first cover with a Norman Rockwell painting the year after MaMa was born.

75. President Woodrow Wilson signed a bill incorporating the Boy Scouts of America the year after MaMa was born.

76. The first Rose Bowl game was played 13 years before MaMa was born… the second Rose Bowl game was played 1 year after MaMa was born.

77. The enactment of the Jones Act two years after MaMa was born granted Puerto Ricans US citizenship. (huh… someone let Jamin know he doesn’t need that green card).

78. The US Congress established time zones and approved daylight savings time 3 years AFTER MaMa was born.

79. MaMa was 21 when the Baseball Hall of Fame was established.

80. The first class consisted of: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, and Honus Wagner. All played at some point after MaMa was born.

81. Cy Young retired 4 years before MaMa was born.

82. 197 of the 232 players (about 85%) in the baseball HOF played at some point during MaMa’s lifetime.

83. MaMa has been alive for 15 of the 19 perfect games pitched in MLB.

84. 100% of the players in the Football HOF played in MaMa’s lifetime.

85. The Great Gatsby was published a month before MaMa turned 10.

86. The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut 10 years after MaMa was born.

87. MaMa was born 5 years after Mark Twain died.

88. Amelia Earhart became the first person to fly solo from Hawaii to California 20 years after MaMa was born.

89. Airplanes were banned from flying over the White House 20 years after MaMa was born.

90. Persia was renamed Iran 20 years after MaMa was born.

91. The first nighttime MLB game was played between the
Reds and the Phillies 20 years after MaMa was born.


92. Elvis Presley, Sonny Bono, Ron Paul, Jerry Lee Lewis, Julie Andrews, and Sandy Koufax were born 20 years after MaMa was born.

93. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. & T.E. Lawrence died 20 years after MaMa was born.

94. Prohibition began & Women were given the right to vote 5 years after MaMa was born.

95. The first domestic radio sets came to stores in the US 5 years after MaMa was born.



Happy birthday MaMa! I love you.

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