Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Friday, March 26, 2010

2 Post Friday... Random thoughts... Post 100!

I think this is post #100 for I'm just sayin... Where has the time gone?

Have you ever found yourself sitting at work on a slow Friday looking out of the window at great weather and thinking about who would hold what position if you were President (or the leader of a crime family)? Me too!

So here’s what I’m thinking:

The Horres “Family”

Don: Me
Already this is where things in my daydreaming get kind difficult. As you know, I have an older brother. So how can I be the head of the family with him still around? For all things mafia related, I of course have to draw on my experience from The Godfather. This means one of two things will happen to my brother.

1. He will be a tough, hot-headed man who likes to fight and he will lead the family for a brief period before being gunned down at a toll booth.

2. He will be a sickly, wimpy man who will betray me and who I will end up having killed after our mother dies.

Since I like my brother, I will go with choice #1. So, sorry Kevin, you aren’t around in this scenario, but at least you went out like Sonny and not like Fredo.

Anyway, back to my “Family”...
Underboss: My cousin Louis
Consiglieri: Jeremy
Enforcer (ala, Luca Brasi/Al Neri): Brett B.
Caporegime: KC
Caporegime: Danny
Caporegime: Jamin
Soldier: Clark
Soldier: Ross
Soldier: Dave
Associates: All of my other friends

Now if I was President:

President: Me
Chief of Staff: Jeremy
Vice President: KC
Secretary of State: my brother Kevin
Attorney General: Louis
Secretary of Defense: Danny
Secretary of Homeland Security: Dave
Secretary of the Treasury: Michael
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Clark
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Jamin
Secretary of Education: my sister Teri
Spiritual Advisor (ala Billy Graham): Jenn
Secretary of the Interior: Ross
Secretary of Transportation: My cousin Jason
Director of the CIA: My cousin Scott
Ambassador to the UN: My cousin Alan
Deputy Chief of Staff: My friend Kurt. We played baseball together at JI. I don’t think I’ve actually seen him since we graduated, but I keep up with him over Facebook. He’s lived all over the world, so he would probably be a good Ambassador to the UN, but I wanted my cousin Alan in that spot. I want Kurt to be Deputy Chief of Staff because I would like his advice on things. The thing is, Kurt leans so far to the left that if we were in a three-legged race together and I didn’t lean right, we’d fall over. So I’m not sure how much of his advice I’d actually use, but I think it’s good to have differing opinions and different views. Plus he’s fun to hang out with.
Senior Advisor: My brother-in-law Brent
Senior Advisor: My British friend Thomas
Director of National Drug Control Policy: My brother-in-law Michael
There are other people I would need to find a spot for (like my cousin Susan) but this is what I would start with.

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